Unpacking this feeling of anxiety is a mystery to me. It seems to sweep in without notice, consuming my entire energetic field. Everything begins to close in. My perspective of the world becomes smaller, my thoughts are constricted and my desire is to be alone. At times this feeling is completely constricting. I can totally see how this feeling can lead to panic attacks, impacting breathing patterns, heart rate and our entire physical state. And like all energetically charged feelings, their vibrational quality moves through all living systems within my energetic field. This powerful energy not only has the capacity to affect the energetic state of those around us, but it also attracts others that match this energy.
What’s strange is that this energy is diametrically opposed to my natural state. My natural state tends to be open, optimistic, adventure seeking and highly social. So, what is it that brings about this anxiety in me that challenges my natural state? While I continue to explore this question, it seems that the triggers that bring about an experience of anxiety are different for everyone, depending on our personal emotional state at any given time. In exploring my personal emotional state, impacted by past experiences that have been imprinted into my personality, an experience of anxiety tends to emerge when I begin to feel overwhelmed. I generally feel overwhelmed when I experience a rush of stimulus, often in the form of too many opportunities. As I tend to be someone that desires to experience as much as possible, this rush of opportunities consumes my emotional state such that I begin to feel anxious. This is further impacted when I feel that I must decide on a course of action, potentially limiting my field of opportunities. I have a perspective that each decision that I make informs my next set of decisions, thus impacting my course of action and the resulting life experience. As I desire to experience all that life has to offer, this perspective affects my ability to make decisions about what course of action I shall choose when multiple opportunities present themselves. This tends to be my general source and trigger for an experience of anxiety. This feeling is exacerbated when I shut down my capacity to choose rationally by processing decisions with my mind in exchange for allowing my actions to be guided entirely by my instinct and desires. The resulting experience is often one of excitement, providing an emotional rush. At times, this feeling itself becomes overwhelming, producing an experience of anxiety. The opportunity here is to seek balance in my capacity to feel fully while using my mind as a tool to process my feelings.
I believe instinct should drive our life experience and the decisions we make for our lives, yet I see our mind as a powerful tool to help us in the processing of the underlying emotions that inform our instincts. Its a beautiful dance that seeks harmony between our mind, body and spirit. So, I keep dancing, feeling and expanding.
Thanks for listening and I wish you all a glorious day.
Love & Light,
Ryan!
